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The first thoughts to come to mind were the things I'm not appreciative of, the things I don't have, the relationships I struggle with, the trials that never seem to end.
So here I am today, amongst laundry and mess, cleaning rooms and tidying up messes that I've done time and time again, not feeling particularly thankful. Feeling guilty and selfish for feeling this way, but also recognizing that these feelings are not of God. Guilt is not a tool God uses to make me realize how thankful I SHOULD be. But, in my brokeness I am feeling drawn to God, feeling as though He wants to give me so many things to be thankful for. He longs to fill up my heart with joy, and give me a spirit that enables me to always feel thankful. Guilt will not bring me these things. My willingness to ask for His forgiveness and His blessings will give me these things. So, today, one day late, I am thankful. Thankful for a merciful Father, thankful for forgiveness, and, finally, thankful for so much.
I am thankful for a weekend of family time, with our little family, my family and hubby's family. Thankful for time to reflect on the beauty of the season and be outdoors. Thankful for time to reflect on a dear, beloved Father-in-law who passed away on Thanksgiving several years ago. Thankful for time this weekend to do things I enjoy, walking, reading and baking pies. Thankful for the tiniest spark of hope in my heart for the healing of broken relationships. Thankful for a loving heavenly Father who will never, ever leave me.
fantastic post Andrea. I couldn't agree more.
ReplyDeleteI am thankful for the honesty of people in my life who can say where they're at and know they loved regardless! You're not alone in these feelings Andrea. I think we all struggle at times to think past the obvious, surface level of things to be thankful for in our lives and move into a deeper joy and fullness. You're a work in progress, my friend. You're not alone and you have so many people walking with you through this journey of life. It may come only in glimpses but you'll see something when you're looking as hard as you clearly are:)
ReplyDeleteOh sweet Andrea, I think your savior is touched more by the honesty of your heart.
ReplyDeleteI am happy to hear of your tiny spark of hope! Thank you for your vulnerability. I pray that as you take baby steps, the Holy Spirit will fill you with His joy and peace and you will overflow with thankfulness!
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